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Ugly Watches


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Having had a few drinks with family this past Christmas and discussing Ali Express watches, I drunkenly made a bank breaking purchase of an $8 fashion watch because dagnabbit the thing is hilarious. This.. item.. has inspired me to start this thread, which is a dedication to ugly watches. 

It's a Binbond (I thought it said Binbono at first) quartz movement in a timeless stainless finish. The bracelet is chintzy and cheap feeling, and the watch itself whilst being the size of a dinner plate is next to inscrutable when it comes to actually telling the time. It is a conversation starter much in the same way a bin fire on your street might be. I have absolutely no idea when I might wear this thing in public, but I know for certain I would never wear it if visiting a circus as I would likely be mistaken for a clown.

11/10 amazing timepiece.

IMG_20230106_163102.thumb.jpg.294a2298ff652a723140b6007c8aedd3.jpg

 

Got an ugly watch in your collection or seen something online that burned itself into your retinas? Post em up!

 

 

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1 hour ago, watchweasol said:

Hi. Not exactly a classic and not somthing I like but It may be some ones pride and joy some day.  Maybe.

I'd honestly be surprised if it lasts long enough to become a family heirloom, but if it does I'm definitely leaving it to my least favourite kid. 

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Watches that for some reason don't sell many, get to be , rare and collectible instead.

You sound like if this one is destined to top such list. Its ununsual alright but a different story  if a high end brand made this design?  

Rgds

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21 minutes ago, Nucejoe said:

Watches that for some reason don't sell many, get to be , rare and collectible instead.

You sound like if this one is destined to top such list. Its ununsual alright but a different story  if a high end brand made this design?  

Rgds

I think they've sold thousands of these things. Definitely not destined to be a rare collectible, at best an oddity lost to time. 

I bought it purely for the laugh factor! Not super concerned about losing the box it came in, haha. 

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I think if I were to interpret "ugly" as being an aesthetic which I find repulsive (in other words ugly to me, maybe not to everyone) then I'd put one of the new Invicta watches in here.

I cannot recall the model name, but I was asked to work on it and get it running again.  It was quartz and I learned that blowing it out a bit, doing a line release, and a tiny bit of quartz oil all did the trick.  But GAD that thing was sooooooo overdone!  It was mucking HUGE for a wristwatch.  And HEAVY.  You'd build up your biceps just wearing it.  It was covered in multi-colored street-style graffiti, with a little steel cable running through brackets around the bezel.  It was one big heckin' chonk of wannabe hood bling.  Thing is, I know people in the hood and even they have better taste.  Taudrey and garish as Vegas at Christmastime, that thing made my eyes hurt.  Invicta makes similar loud-looking models; but that one was unreal.

Addendum: I think it was called an Invicta Bolt Zeus.  I recall my wife saw what I was working on and made a face.  Coming from a well-off New England upbringing, Sarah exited the room in such a way that made it clear that being caught dead wearing such a watch was not an option. 

Edited by KarlvonKoln
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20190527_130005.thumb.jpg.8ff04245504847af96ca19c7b688a21c.jpg

I guess beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I cringed when I was asked to service this beauty. It belongs to a colleague's mother. Perhaps it was the style in the 70's, along with bell bottoms and platform shoes.

And I think it wasn't a cheap watch as it housed an ETA 2858 and the gold looked like solid 18K. It polished up very nicely.

20190531_103617.thumb.jpg.e1125c20395b5f619e58ce28d13c9e2d.jpg

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1 hour ago, KarlvonKoln said:

I think if I were to interpret "ugly" as being an aesthetic which I find repulsive (in other words ugly to me, maybe not to everyone) then I'd put one of the new Invicta watches in here.

Addendum: I think it was called an Invicta Bolt Zeus.  I recall my wife saw what I was working on and made a face.  Coming from a well-off New England upbringing, Sarah exited the room in such a way that made it clear that being caught dead wearing such a watch was not an option. 

Haha I just looked it up, that steel cable is.. wow
s-l500.jpg.ec41f9d648d96a19a79371a2b3b5d444.jpg

1 hour ago, HectorLooi said:

20190527_130005.thumb.jpg.8ff04245504847af96ca19c7b688a21c.jpg

 

Oh boy, the massive fluted bezel taking up more space than the dial, and the clashing day/date window. I personally also don't like two tone watches either, but I get that some people are into it.

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3 hours ago, HectorLooi said:

How about these 2 beauties? Yea? Nay?

They are still available from AliExpress. About $20 each.

FYI I didn't buy them. Someone gifted them to me on learning that I'm into watch repairing. 

Yea to being on this list, Nay to being on my wrist. What in the world is going on with the one on the left! Is it missing some parts? What are the orange tubes? So many questions! 

13/10 outstanding and brave designs. 

 

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https://www.walmart.com/ip/Invicta-Gladiator-Chronograph-Quartz-Blue-Dial-Men-s-Watch-36623/203162528

I did a google image search for the Invicta Bolt something, and this came up as collateral damage. 55mm case, the gold chain motif on the band only goes halfway, quartz, classic Chinesium "chronograph" (lost in translation equates to meaningless subdials), $480, AND sold out! The crown looks HUGE for any watch, and when you take into account that it's 55mm... It's like fat crayons for toddlers...

Edited by spectre6000
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On 1/7/2023 at 11:19 AM, HectorLooi said:

FYI I didn't buy them. Someone gifted them to me on learning that I'm into watch repairing. 

I would gift them to the first person who accepts them. lol

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9 hours ago, JohnFrum said:

Gott in Himmel!  You could make hamburger patties with that!

On 1/7/2023 at 11:25 AM, spectre6000 said:

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Invicta-Gladiator-Chronograph-Quartz-Blue-Dial-Men-s-Watch-36623/203162528

I did a google image search for the Invicta Bolt something, and this came up as collateral damage. 55mm case, the gold chain motif on the band only goes halfway, quartz, classic Chinesium "chronograph" (lost in translation equates to meaningless subdials), $480, AND sold out! The crown looks HUGE for any watch, and when you take into account that it's 55mm... It's like fat crayons for toddlers...

Okay, I admit:  I like that shade of blue...but that's as much admiration as I have for it.  One imagines this could be something a pimp from Las Vegas would wear. 

On a related note: where is Invicta headed these days?  What's with all the gaudy and garish stuff that makes my eyes bleed?  Is this what younger folks are buying now?  Am I just old and stodgy, with an obsolete definition of good taste?  I'm sure they function fine as watches go, but I couldn't pull off wearing one - any more than I could act in a Quentin Tarantino movie.

Edited by KarlvonKoln
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On 1/8/2023 at 12:25 AM, spectre6000 said:

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Invicta-Gladiator-Chronograph-Quartz-Blue-Dial-Men-s-Watch-36623/203162528

I did a google image search for the Invicta Bolt something, and this came up as collateral damage. 55mm case, the gold chain motif on the band only goes halfway, quartz, classic Chinesium "chronograph" (lost in translation equates to meaningless subdials), $480, AND sold out! The crown looks HUGE for any watch, and when you take into account that it's 55mm... It's like fat crayons for toddlers...

Fifty. Five. Millimeters. 

That alone is insane but that watch is straight awful. It's like an all you can eat buffet, if all you can eat is vomit.

12 out of 10.

11 hours ago, JohnFrum said:

Hahaha amazing! It's like an old diving helmet except way less cool! The best thing about this watch is you can seal it closed, and then put it in a box and seal that closed, and then throw the box in a volcano and then seal the volcano closed.

2 hours ago, KarlvonKoln said:

On a related note: where is Invicta headed these days?  What's with all the gaudy and garish stuff that makes my eyes bleed?  Is this what younger folks are buying now?  Am I just old and stodgy, with an obsolete definition of good taste?  I'm sure they function fine as watches go, but I couldn't pull off wearing one - any more than I could act in a Quentin Tarantino movie.

Remember the nineties when all the watches had to look metal and edgy and like something a WWE wrestler would wear? It's like that now, but with clowns.

 

image.png.ac7d3e7fd1323beae07281dad34ea172.png

Edited by lexacat
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12 hours ago, JohnFrum said:

A plumbing valve body with a cover (the body is missing out of the middle). A large hidden hinge for woodworking; though I usually see them much smaller for boxes and the like. Looks like you must operate all four bolts on the cover to close the lid... I understand it, but I don't get it.

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“Review offer

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